THE STORY OF THE LONGEST BACK CHECK IN HASH HISTORY (without even using sticks)
I don't usually write about the actual trail run but in this case, I'll make an exception. Why? Because in my 27 years of hashing, this is the first time I ever got lost actually FOLLOWING paper. Yes, that's right. The pack was on paper the whole damn time and the hares still managed to get us lost. How the hell did that happen?
Here..let Dirt Loonie tell the story:
DL: So, Jellobutt was way ahead of the pack as usual when I caught up with him. What you got in your hands JB?
JB: This is called a back check.
DL: "BACK CHECK" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JB: What the fuck you do that for? Don't tell anyone.
DL: Oh shit, you're right.
JB: Damn it Loonie, now we're going to lose our lead. Here, take these sticks and throw them in the bushes before anyone sees them.
DL: Right
Sperm Polluter and GI Joe were way behind trying to keep up with Fag Hacker and Ice Hole, the walkers.
JB is pulling out in front leaving a cloud of dust behind when I turn to Pussy Snatcher.
DL: Snatcher, what a great trail, Lots of paper, looks like some expert haring by those Belgium Boys.
PS: I bet Lord Lucan is probably lost again.
LL: No, I'm not. I'm right here.
PS: Oh shit, that must mean I'M LOST!
Marathon Man: Hey guys, I just saw Bangka Blower and Arseholio up the trail. They were with one of the hares.
No idea why the hares are with them. Maybe they're lost.
Beverly Hills Pink Cock: Lost... who said lost? I'll have some of that...
Bull Trac: How can we be lost...we're on paper?
Cabbage Knievel: Hey boys, funny to see you here. I think you're lost cause I'm lost.
Festering Streaker: No we're not lost, see,.... here's the paper. Never been off it.
Dizzy: I'm sure we're going the Wrong Way. Why is Bam Bam and Spag Head walking towards us ahead when they should be behind us not in front of us.
Cheeky Monkey: Daddy, I'm getting Dizzy from being lost. I want to go home.
Bam Bam: No you can't get Dizzy, he's already married. What the fuck you doing here Cheeky...are you lost? I told you to stay on paper.
Crapper: Oh fuck, we got to turn back boys. Wrong Way.. all the way to the last back check, 3 km ago.
Dirt Loonie: So, JB I got a question for ya... An American, Santa Claus and a smart Belgian are running a hash. Who comes in first?
Jellobutt: The American of course, because Santa Claus and Smart Belgians don't exist.
On On
Jellobutt
