The Pattaya Jungle Monkey Hash was run on March 19. "Scar With 2 Tees" was commissioned by GM Lord Lucan to be the scribe for this run. So what happens.... I arrive to the Pattaya Bush Hash on April 9 and Tampax the Web Master for the Monkey Hash says to me:
"JB,: Scar With 2 Tees fucked off to Scandiland and hasn't sent the Monkey run report yet... can you write something up ASAP to get on the Monkey Website?" Knowing Tampax is the GM of this Bush run, puts me in a bind. Saying "No" at this juncture would most likely land me in the bucket long time so without much fanfare, I surrender and agree to write the Monkey report.
Next day I go to the The Thistle bar, to solicite hash community memory about what happened nearly 3 weeksago, as I can't even remember what happened yesterday. I find the proprietor of the tavern, Shiek Bin Shakin', awaiting at the bar. but after a few beers he is as useless in memory as I am. But he suggests...: "Ballringer was here just a few minutes ago. He'll be able to help you write the report...he has a good memory.""Great, where is Ballringer now?" "He said he was heading down to Boys Town, ...a bar called Bubbles Boys Bar." So, I walk a few meters to find Ballringer...but not familiar with Boys Town I get a bit lost. Eventually I find Bubbles Boys Bar. I relunctantly walk inside and,....there, amongst many a boy blowing soap bubbles.... is Ballringer, lounging comfortably on a pink sofa. "Ballringer...hows it hanging...hey..I need to write the Monkey scribe can you help me out a bit...I dont remember a thing. Who were the hares for that run anyway?"
"OOOOOOOOO,,,hey ... Jellobutt...ummmmmmm ... how you find me here?"
"No worries mate...the closet is no place for you anyway...but as it is...I still need to write this report. Do you remember who were the hares on the last Monkey? OH...ummm...I think that boy is putting a Q Tip in your ear, must hurt eh?...."
"OOOO,,,Lek stop that, I told you before...no Q tips."
"Ballringer....well, I cant really stay here too long...but help me out here...what happened on the last Monkey Run...was it a good run...or what?"
"Lek...I told you to stop that....and get that thing out of my pants." "Ballringer...to be honest...as you know..poofters arent allowed on the Monkey run...but anyway....if you can at least give me some tidbits to write about on the scribe...well, we will keep this between me and you." "Lek...please...I told you...no tongues either and stop with the toe thing too...Bellend can smell other men's tongues." "Ballringer....ok...really, I got to go...I cant stay here much longer..."
"ALLLLLLAIN......Where you?"
"Oh Shit...Bellend is here. Quick, ....Lek get off my lap... I"m going to the toilet....JB...you never saw me here." "Right".
"ALLLLLAIN....I know you in here!!"
To Be Continued.............
On On
The Ghost Rider
