At 09.50 on 21/1/17 the first runners for January '17 Monkey Run began assembling at the Boomerang Bar, I was one of them.... and we were far too early, the buses weren't scheduled to depart until 11.00 but I do hate being late....and I didn't read the website which would have told me the departure time for the buses. Nonetheless, by 10.50 everyone that was expected was there with the exception of Del Boy who had pulled out due to illness and we were on our way to the A site which turned out to be somewhere off Highway 36.
After a few group photos the first circle was called and it was noted that there were several virgins and several runners whose socks didn't meet the designated criteria; business to be dealt with later. The hares, Steptoe and Robbing Bastard, the latter having been recruited at very short notice, gave a brief on the run and we were off!
Several runners set off at speed but the majority of the field departed at a more leisurely pace, inhibited by the midday sun and the uncertainty of what lay ahead. The first few km were straightforward covered in good time with the trail heading west before turning to the southeast taking us down well marked paths on what was to some familiar territory. It wasn't long though before we turned away from the comfort of these paths and found ourselves fighting our way through some fairly thick undergrowth, which did show some signs of recent hacking from the hares as they laid the trail. This really slowed the pack down and brought most of the runners together as there was no opportunity to pass and there were many obstacles in our way which necessitated climbing over or under. A check in the middle of all this did nothing to improve our speed and it was after nearly 35 minutes and less than 2 km covered before we found ourselves back in the relative open and able to pick up the pace. During this period there were several grumbling voices complaining about the tough going but I'm pleased to report they seemed to be mostly Australian and not from the Whinging Poms.
The remainder of the first section took us through varied terrain including about half a kilometre traipsing through a stream, which in all fairness was quite welcome due to the coolness it offered. When we left the stream we were straight into the driest, dustiest field on the trail, to ensure that our wet shoes got a decent crust of mud on them before we crossed the 3240 as we approached the water stop at the B site. I arrived somewhere in the middle of the pack and had been on trail for about 83 mins, covering a little more than 7.3km. Most of the runners were congregated together quickly, but with a few notable exceptions, including Crapper, Mr Cheap and Mental Disorder who were only seen approaching the B site as the other runners, after a drinks break of around 15 minutes, were heading back off on to the trail. There were some shouts from the late arrivals about checks not being broken.....but I reckon they just got lost, probably missing one of the turns along the way.
Anyway the rest of us were on our way again, with advice from the hares that we were going to find the second stage a bit tougher than the first and probably pass through an area that hadn't previously been used for a trail, virgin territory! A false sense of security enveloped us as the first few km led us down some rather nice woodland paths, gently undulating, cool and very pleasant walking/running terrain; this didn't seem like it was going to be too bad at all, and we know that hares have no reputation for telling us the truth about the trails they lay. Ooops. It was all about to change. Somewhere between 10 and 11 km we hit the first proper climb, a fairly steep ascent but managed without excessive difficulty. The inevitable, ensuing descent wasn't too tough either, maybe that's what the hares had alluded too, it wasn't too bad at all really!
However, almost immediately we had to climb again. Bugger! And this time the climb although shorter, was much more treacherous, climbing as we were on a surface of dried grass and leaves which offered little in the way of purchase. After much slipping and sliding backwards while trying to progress, many runners resorted to climbing on all fours (I wasn't the only one, was I?). Others were sitting on their arses resting halfway up the hill and others were seen falling on to their arses with sheer fatigue. But, we all reached the top in our own way and in our own time, only to be confronted with a short but incredibly steep descent on a surface of loose sand and dirt which encouraged lots of the pack to face this challenge sliding down on their backsides, clinging to the odd sapling or bush on the way by to slow down their descent ( I had thorns in my fingers for days after). The final couple of km were more straightforward, the continuing use of checks affording some minor difficulties but nothing in comparison to the f**king hill. The field by now was very much spread out and it was with some relief as I turned a corner and came out of the woods that the C site could be seen, 600m away.....and downhill. Inspired as I was by the thought of a cold beer, for the first time on the trail I broke into a shuffling jog and allowed my momentum to carry me into the C site. Not including the water stop, I had been on trail for 3 and a half hours and covered 15.5 km. Many runners seemed as though they had been in for a considerable time already, and for the next little while the remainder of the field came home, apparently with no major mishaps to report. Well done everyone! I mentioned that it was the first monkey run I had completed without bleeding....and was advised I ought to go round again. Thankfully no one would take me back to the A site.....
Well done to the hares, who gave us a great run with some real challenges along the way. It should also be noted that the hares who put considerable effort into the run also faced significant expense, travelling to the trail by taxi etc.
After a period of recuperation for the runners and a period in which the hares remained busy, preparing food for us all, it was time to eat and in true tradition the virgins were the first to be invited to collect their meal, which consisted of French bread, cheese, ham, coleslaw, potato salad and a range of salad/sandwich based accompaniments which all went down very well. Once again, well done and thanks to the hares.
An entertaining circle followed, details of which are sketchy.....mainly because I didn't understand that I was the scribe but I can report that the virgins were given a traditionally warm welcome and that I don't recall any comeback for those runners not wearing appropriate socks.
As darkness fell the C site was packed away and the buses full of, by now, quite noisy runners headed off to The Jade House, near Pratumnak, where more good food was available to us, and as far as I could tell those present continued to enjoy themselves.
All in all, a memorable day.
The next Monkey Run will be on March 11
On On fellow hashers!!
The Wizard